You’re not an attention seeker, you just wanted to know if we liked the cakes. We don’t answer you until you are out of earshot. I think we are unlikely to be friends. You are not someone who drives to work and has a designated carking space. You have an apron and crumbs on your fingers. You spill my drink and mop it up with a dirty cloth and I talk over your apology because I’m not in the mood for this. I look at the couple on the next table: nine macaroons, a bottle of wine and holding hands.